The family that plays together stays together. Here are some fun things to do at your reception that will leave your guests feeling more than merely present at the party, but active participants as well.
One of the most common frustrations expressed by couples in the throes of planning their wedding is the pressure to please everyone but themselves. One of the phrases we keep repeating here is, “Your day, your choice”. We can’t insist enough that your ceremony really is about the two of you.
The reception, on the other hand, is your chance to let everyone assembled know just how much you appreciate their presence and support. You fill their bellies and warm their hearts, then typically the music starts and you dance the night away.
More and more people, though, are breaking things up a bit with organised games or activities. This can be particularly effective for destination weddings, when everyone is far from home with no other demands on their time or attention, and receptions can run on for hours and hours.
Here are some suggestions for games for the gaggle you’ve gathered. And you can choose more than one!
Karaoke
Loads of fun, especially once everyone has got comfortable and let down their guard after some social lubricant in the form of beer, wine and spirits. Feature tunes from various eras and styles so everyone can get involved. (If an LGBTQIA+ wedding isn’t about inclusion, what is??) Get nostalgic for yesteryear with standards by the likes of the legendary Frank Sinatra, the dreamy Cliff Richard, and for all of us friends of Dorothy, the iconic Judy Garland. Add a dash of British Invasion with (of course) the Beatles, the brilliant Petula Clark, and the magnificent Marianne Faithfull. Then go glam rock, or folk, or play around with some punk before getting a little Queer with David Bowie/Ziggy Stardust, Annie Lennox and Eurythmics, David Sylvian and Japan, and oh-so-danceable Boy George and Culture Club. Round it out with Sarah McLachlan, Melissa Etheridge, The Indigo Girls, and we know you listen to Girl in Red! Throw in some Lizzo and Lil Nas X, Mika, Christine and the Queen and King Princess. Then bring it home with Madonna, Beyoncé, GaGa, Cher, Cher and Cher, baby! This is not karaoke from the corner pub. This is elevation. Get their booties on the dance floor and make an event of it! It will take a bit of preparation, but let your Wedding Planner and your DJ do the heavy lifting. That’s what they’re there for. Getting the karaoke playlist out to your guests ahead of time will give them time to think about what they’d like to do and get ready for it, with the excitement building as the Big Day draws closer.
Pub Quiz
You can’t go wrong with the perennially popular Pub Quiz. Choose the questions to fit your flock. There was a time not so long ago when these sorts of ceremonies for gay folk were attended predominantly by other gay folk. This is no longer the case. As marriage equality has continued to spread and civil unions for same-sex couples are the rule in Europe rather than the odd exception, family and friends of all ages and from across the spectrum are present more than ever before. Chances are that most tables at your reception will be a real mix of generations and genders, even races and religions tradition, with a broad range of experience and knowledge. Have fun with this, selecting questions from various sources: online lists, cards by category, and themed collections. Here are some examples of Queer questions for your consideration:
Q: Where and when did the Stonewall Riots take place?
A: New York City, June 1969
Q: Which country was the first to lawfully establish same sex marriage?
A: The Netherlands
Q: When was the first Pride in the UK?
A: 1 July 1972
Q: ‘A friend of ________?’ is an affectionate euphemism for a gay man?
A: Dorothy
Q: Which dance craze made mainstream by gay icon Madonna originated in the LGBTQ+ underground ball culture?
A: Voguing
Q: The first pre-watershed lesbian kiss in the UK took place on which soap in 1994?
A: Brookside
Q: Chaz Bono is a successful actor and media personality. When he appeared on Dancing with the Stars in 2011, it was the first time a trans man had appeared on a major network reality show. Who is his famous mother?
A: Cher
Q: Whose funeral took place on 27 June, the night before the Stonewall Riots, which some have long reported heightened the emotions and spurred many to join the fight?
A: Judy Garland
Q: Which city is generally agreed to be the unofficial “gay capital” of the UK?
A: Brighton
Q: In 2011, which British city became the first to install rainbow street signs identifying the Gay Quarter?
A: Liverpool
Q: What does the acronym LGBTQIA+ stand for?
A: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transexual Queer Intersexual Asexual (or Ally, depending on who you ask), and the plus-sign meant to cover anyone who is not included in these terms.
Q: In 1951, Harvey Milk was the first openly gay elected official in what city?
A: San Francisco
The Shoe Game
The concept is simple: each of the newlyweds sits at a table at the front of the room, with one of their own shoes on one hand and one of their partner’s shoes on the other. You answer the questions by raising the appropriate shoe. If the answer to the question is, “Yep, that’s me,” then you lift up your own shoe. If the response is, “Oh, that’s tooootally him/her/them,” then you raise your partner’s shoe. One option is to play with your backs to each other so you can’t see your partner’s responses. We think it’s more fun to do it in full view: when there’s disagreement, someone’s got some explaining to do! Another option is to have close friends or family members square off to make their best guess. In this case, an interesting twist is to include quips and quotes commonly made by each of the partners (e.g., “Oh no, she di’n’t!”, “Can Ijust say something?”, “I don’t want to say I told you so, but…”, etc.). Then it’s up to the friends in the hot seats to identify which person the statement reflects. It can be great fun to mix it up by having a few rounds, with a handful of questions each. With different participants, this can stay engaging and entertaining for even up to 20 minutes.
You can mine the web or pick the brains of friends and family for questions. The options are endless, but here are some piquant possibilities to get the juices flowing:
Who’s got more ex-lovers?
Who leaned in for the first kiss?
Who hates PDA (public displays of affection)?
Who’s the bigger fibber?
Who said I love you first?
Who’s more adventurous in bed?
Who’s most likely to apologise first?
Who’s more stylish?
Who’s the party animal?
Who’s more likely to drink too much today?
Who’s the better dancer?
Who is very needy when they’re sick?
Who’s always late?
Who’s likely to spill a secret?
Who’s likely to cry whilst watching a film?
Who’s the bigger flirt?
Who’s got the crazier family?
Who farts more?
Who’s a gossip?
Whose playlist is better?
Who’s messier?
Who’s likely to take their phone to the loo?
Who’s likely to forget anniversaries and birthdays?
Who’s the jealous one?
Who’s got better hair?
Who’s likely to have ice cream for breakfast?
Who’s got more shoes?
Who’s more likely to get arrested?
Let your imagination run wild and have fun with it. Allowing your guests to play along with you allows them to be not just spectators but participants. This will help make your special day truly an affair to remember!
